Title: How To Fall In Love Again
Bible Book: Revelation 2 : 1-7
Author: John Bisagno
Subject: Marriage; Love
Objective:
Introduction
There is a difference in being in love and loving someone. Being in love is that wonderful feeling toward another person. But, loving someone is something that grows over time. When you are loving someone, your greatest joy is to see that person blessed and happy. My greatest joy is when I see my wife laughing out loud. I know she is happy and that makes me happy.
It is important, however, to know how to renew the passion in your marriage. You need to know how to fall in love all over again! I preaching somewhere a few months ago and a noted psychologists came up to me and reminded me of a book I had written many years ago. The book is entitled, "How To Fall In Love Again." He then told me something interesting. He said that every major marriage counselor is using the principles in that book I wrote. He shared that most of them have never read my book and don't know that the principles they are using are from the Bible, but they are using the same principles. Today, I want to share with you these principles for falling in love again. And they are found right here in the Bible.
Look at Revelation 3:1-7. This is Jesus speaking to His Church at Ephesus. In fact, chapters 2 and 3 of Revelation are words of Jesus to 7 Churches. Now, note this fact, Jesus is referred to as the Bridegroom. And, the Church is referred to the in Bible as the Bride. Now, if we note how Jesus, the Groom, spoke to the Church, the Bride, we can learn principles about falling in love again in our marriages. So, follow as I read this text.
Revelation 2:1-7, "To the angel of the church of Ephesus write, 'These things says He who holds the seven stars in His right hand, who walks in the midst of the seven golden lampstands: 2 "I know your works, your labor, your patience, and that you cannot bear those who are evil. And you have tested those who say they are apostles and are not, and have found them liars; 3 and you have persevered and have patience, and have labored for My name's sake and have not become weary. 4 Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. 5 Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place -- unless you repent. 6 But this you have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate. 7 "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God."' NKJV
I. Repent
The first part of the prescription for falling in love again is to repent. When the heavenly psychologist begins to tell the bride how to love the groom, he says to repent.
What does "repent" mean? Is it medicine? Does he say, 'Take two "repents" and call me in the morning?" No! Does he say, "Seven repents and we get a first down?" No!
Repent is a Biblical, Christian, doctrinal, theological, religious, salvation term. Why would He say that about marriage? He says it twice, "Repent." Why say it twice and deal with it in such a touch manner? He does so because it is a symptom of falling out of love with Jesus that leads to fall out of love with your wife! I found that when you lose your passion for your wife, you lose your love for everything. God made man in His image, and Eve was taken for the body of man. It is a triangle with man and woman at the bottom and God at the top. And, if anything negatively affects a man and a woman it is because of a broken link in the triangle with God!
I remember when I met Uldine. She had just become Miss San Diego. She was the prettiest thing on earth. She was a sanctified Marilyn Monroe. Who would not love that? When I saw Uldine I fell head over heels in love with her. I proposed during a thunderstorm and the thunder was so loud that I could not hear her answer. I said, "What did you say?" She had said "Yes," and later we were married. It was wonderful. Tell me, sir, are you not sad that you let that romance slip away from you?
Look at 2 Thessalonians 7:10. If you want to save your situation, you must repent! You don't want divorce. You don't alimony. You don't to hurt your children. You need to repent! You will be glad you did it. Sorrow doesn't help you, but godly sorrow leads to repentance. Being sorry is not enough. Not one of you can look back and remember the courtship and not regret that you let it slip away.
II. Remember
Use your mind. Play those old tapes in your mind and remember. Everything you have ever said, thought or done is in your mind. You can look at a pornographic website and it can seal a thought in your mind that you cannot remove. And, there are over 200 million such websites out there. You must be careful with your mind.
Remember the things you had with the wife of your youth. You can bring it back. I saw a Piccadilly sign the other day and I remembered that my old roommate was the son of the man who owned the restaurant. I drove in there to eat just remembering that. Just remembering made me go back and eat there again.
Philippians 4:8 tells us how to think. We must think on the right things. In David Copperfield, the novel, there is the line, "Remember me at my best." That is what you must do. You must remember the first kiss, the first things, and do so for 3 or 4 minutes uninterrupted and it will change your heart.
You can't pick or choose which of these three principles you want to take. You must take all three for they are like clusters of grapes. Matthew 22:37 sums up everything. He tells us the greatest commandment. You must put love first with all your being. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." If you think about being in love, it will rekindle those feelings again.
III. Reenact
Do the first works. Do the things you did when you were first in love. What did you do? You used to call her a lot just to talk. You held her hand. You bought her flowers. You opened the door for her. You washed the dishes after dinner. Do those things again. Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love me?" Jesus asked him that three times. Peter told Jesus that he did love Him each time. Jesus told him each time to do something. Love is something you do! You must do those things you used to do! Nike was right , "Just Do It!"
Conclusion
Ecclesiastes 9:9-10 tells us that a man is to love the wife of his youth! You get one wife and one life, so work at it! Not one person here cannot do these things. And, wife, don't say, "You are just doing that because the preacher said to."
As you get older you learn that loving somebody is the greatest thing in life. You can keep the "in love" part of your life alive.
Reach over and take your wife's hand, if you are married and she is here. Remember the way you used to touch her. Do it again. The longest running Broadway play in history just ended. It was entitled, "CATS." It was extrapolated from an eight line poem by T.S. Eliot. The writers turned it into a 3 hour drama. The story is about hundreds of thousands of junkyard cats. The two oldest decided to examine them all and see which one qualified to be re-born as a glamour cat. They choose Grizabella. The high point of the play is when Grizabella sings, "Touch me. Its so easy to leave me all alone with my memory of my days in the sun. If you just touch me, you will understand what happiness is. Look! A new day has begun."
A lady crying told me this morning, after the early service, "Thank you for this sermon. We were very young when we got married. The first night we got on our knees and prayed. Today we are more in love that we were that night. Christ is first. We serve each other like queens and kings." I want tell you her name, but she gave me permission to tell you that story.
Now, pray and ask the Lord to forgive you for straying from your first love for Jesus. Promise to make a new commitment to service in His Church. Promise Him to pray, read your bible and love properly in all your relationships.
Pray: "I recommitment myself to the person you have given me in marriage. I want to touch my wife, or my husband, once again as in the first days. Bless our home so as my kids grow up they will see Jesus in us and learn what it means to love the Lord, life, family and country as they see that love modeled in us. In Jesus name, Amen."
